I know why I never take my family out to eat. It’s only partly because it costs a fortune and because my kids will sit for all of seven minutes before the game of hide-and-seek under other patrons’ tables starts up — but it’s because of those awful CALORIES.

Enter KFC’s Double Down, 540 calories of salty bacon and cheese goodness sandwiched between fried chicken. You’ve heard a lot of talk about this. The guys in my office are in love with this sandwich and regularly make a lunchtime pilgrimage.

I’ve privately cringed at the thought of such a high-fat lunch, but recently the The Week featured a list of seven popular chain-restaurant meals that make KFC’s now infamous Double Down sandwich look like something they’d serve at a weight-loss spa.

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I honestly didn’t think it possible to cram upward of 4,000 calories and 4,000 mg of salt (twice the recommended daily intake) into a singular midday meal, but here’s just a few to prove me wrong.

Beef Back Ribs from Claim Jumper = 4,301 calories and 7,623 mg of salt

Fresh Mex Sampler from Chevys = 2,560 calories and 4,130 mg of salt

Jalapeno Smokehouse Burger from Chili’s = 2,130 calories and 6,460 mg of salt

I’m surprised no one mentioned that onion from Outback Steakhouse. I don’t even want to know … find more ofAmerica’s Worst Meals at The Week.

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Truthfully, I wasn’t shocked about the ribs and burgers being bad for you. But, upon further investigation, I was quite stunned to find that some of the so-called healthy foods I eat for lunch on a regular basis could give the Double-Down a run for its money. Maybe I’ll reconsider joining the gang for the next lunch trip …

Falafel. Deep fried and alone — without the yogurt sauce that makes them so tasty — these can run 230 calories per ball or patty, and I always eat at least two or three. In a pita, no less.

Rice and bean burrito. The beans are a great source of protein and fiber, but add the high-calorie rice, wrap, and sour cream that makes them so gooey and yummy and you’ve got a major fat blast – upward of 600 calories or more.

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Pizza. Even when I use the power towel trick and go with a more authentic, pizza parlor slice with a thin whole-wheat crust and minimal cheese, I’m looking roundabouts at 250 calories a slice. And it’s impossible to only eat one. I mean, that crust is so thin …

Salad. All the good stuff is ruined by the bad stuff we pour on top of it. Whether made with oil such as balsamic vinagrette or cream-based like French or blue cheese, salad dressings are mostly all fat and range from 40 to 90 calories a spoonful. Again, stop at just one? Not me!